The Grave Misfortunes of Brianna Amanda Madison
by yorozuyagaren
Summary: Brianna Amanda Madison of Nottingham runs into Sherwood Forest hoping to get Robin Hood to protect her from her tyrannical father and fool of a betrothed. What she finds is a group of fanfic writers on a research expedition. Casting call inside.
1. In which we meet our heroine

I will need characters for the group of fanfic writers. Casting call is at the bottom of the page.

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Brianna Amanda Madison of Nottingham strolled happily along the forest path. Her bright golden hair glistened in the late afternoon sun, and the golden rays brought out the golden flecks in her amethyst eyes. She was happy, for she believed herself safe from the clutches of her tyrannical father and her fool of a betrothed. All that remained of her plan was to find Robin Hood and his outlaws and convince them to protect her, an easy feat considering her beauty and charm. 

Gradually night fell, with no sign of outlaws, Robin Hood's or otherwise. Brianna began to wonder if it had been such a good idea after all to leave her luxurious home with its big fireplaces and many servants.

"No," she told herself firmly. "I'm out here because I don't want to marry that dork, Hubert No-Brains. There's like, no way I'm going back home."

No sooner had she said this, when she noticed a flickering light somewhere off to her left. She immediately decided that it was a fire, and was crashing through the underbrush towards it when a hand snaked out of the darkness and grabbed her arm, while another clapped over her mouth to stifle any cries.

"Oh, no you don't, miss," a voice whispered in her ear. "See, we don't like visitors much, or spies for that matter. You'll be coming along with me, whether you like it or not."

Brianna Amanda Madison of Nottingham had found her outlaws.

Or so she thought. The person holding her was smaller than her own five foot five inches, although the voice, though young, had definitely been male.

"Alright," said her captor. "I'm going to take my hand away from your mouth, and you're not going to utter a sound, because you know that if you do, you'll find a sharp dagger in your stomach." Despite his words, he didn't sound threatening, merely amused. Brianna nodded dumbly.

Nonetheless, when the hand was away from her mouth, she whispered, "Who are you?"

The man gave a humorous snort. "No one important," he said.

"Then get your hands off me right now, you peasant! Don't you know who I am?"

"Well, you're wearing a gown, so I'd guess that you're female. And it's silk, so I'm supposing that you're rich. However, the sleeves (or at least that one I'm holding) are of a style that won't be worn for another four hundred years, implying that you are not a true denizen of this dimension."

Brianna had no idea of what he meant by the word "denizen", nor did she understand what a "dimension" was. She said as much.

"A denizen is someone who is from a certain area. A dimension is—" Here he paused, as if searching for the right word. "It's complicated. Just assume that I think you're a fake, and as such need to be taken before the rest of my party." He seemed to have forgotten his promise to stab Brianna with his dagger if she spoke, although Brianna wasn't complaining. The word "party" caught her attention.

"A party? Like, with drinks and food and stuff?" she asked.

"No, a party being a group."

"Oh." Brianna was audibly disappointed. "Wait, a group? Like, a group of outlaws?"

"You might say that."

"Dude! I've been, like, _looking_ for you! For hours!"

"For us? I highly doubt it."

"No, really! Take me to your camp! I'm serious!"

"Well, I was planning on doing that anyway, but having your cooperation will make it easier." The hand on Brianna's arm began to tug her in the direction of the fire. "This way, if you don't mind. And watch your step."

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Okay, casting call! Submit via review or email (halfelfgaren at yahoo. com). Male or female characters, as long as they are realistic and well-planned. The form is as follows. 

Name:  
Nickname (if any):  
Age:  
Dominant hand (right, left, or ambidextrous):  
Physical description (as much as you feel necessary. I'd rather have too much information than not enough.):  
Clothing:  
Attitude/Personality:  
Likes:  
Dislikes:  
List of things you'd bring to an alternate dimension:  
Skills:  
Anything else:

I will try to include everyone.


	2. In which we meet her captors

Thank you for your lovely reviews. I didn't get to use Kira or Ginny's character here, but they will definitely be in the next chapter. Garen (or Gaer) is my character. The casting call is still open, and will continue to be so until further notice. Anyone is permitted to submit a character.

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"Hey Gaer, whatcha find?" someone shouted as Brianna and her captor entered the clearing. The firelight revealed the captor to be a diminutive young man of about eighteen, with reddish hair in a short ponytail and a nose that was a little too big for the rest of him. 

"A rich runaway," Gaer replied. "And I've told you about calling me 'Gaer'. It's Garen or nothing."

A girl a bit younger than Brianna's captor stood up and came over, stumbling a bit on a rock. She was dressed in a most outlandish fashion, in a tight sleeveless shirt with a skull on it, olive-coloured trousers that stopped at her knee, and striped stockings.

"You know you like it, Gaer," she said. She gave Brianna a once-over. "Huh. Looks like she ran off from a renaissance festival. You sure she's not part of the group?"

Brianna decided to take matters into her own hands. "I most certainly am not part of your stupid group! I'm not some commoner! I'm running away from my mean father who wants me to marry a moron. Are one of you Robin Hood? I'm looking for him so he'll protect me from my father and my boyfriend."

Garen ignored her. "She's not part of _our_ group. I made sure everyone going in costume was wearing the right styles for the period. Plus, check out how she talks. Add that to her story, and she's clearly a Mary-Sue."

"Eww…" the girl said. "Didn't think that we'd have to actually _work_ on this trip. It was supposed to be just research."

Another girl detatched herself from the circle and came over. She seemed a bit on the dull side, with blond hair a shade lighter than Brianna's own. She clearly wasn't fond of the fire, skirting around the edge of the clearing as she approached the small knot of people that was forming around Brianna and Garen.

"You're a princess, aren't you?" she asked Brianna.

Brianna smiled, flattered. "Not exactly, but my mother is King Richard's illegitimate half-sister."

"Royalty," the blond girl said darkly. She sat down on a nearby rock and stared into space.

"Calm down Lilly, I'm sure we can think of something horrible to do to her," Garen told her soothingly. "By the way, now that I'm no longer on guard duty, somebody should get out there and make sure nobody else shows up."

The first girl raised her hand. "I have to check my snares anyway," she said.

"Just don't catch yourself in them, Lee," Garen said with a grin. "You have no idea how annoying it is getting you untangled."

"Only because you can't see past that mountain you call a nose," Lee shot back. Garen laughed as she gathered up some supplies and left the clearing.

"I admit, I should have expected that one," he said once she was out of earshot. He turned to Brianna. "Now the question comes about what we're to do with you. I'd rather not do anything in the dark. There's too many unseen eyes in dark forests. I vote that we tie you to a tree and wait for morning. All in favour say 'aye'."

The chorus of "ayes" that followed almost completely drowned out Brianna's scream of terror.

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Reviews welcomed. Flames will be used to roast venison. 


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